Engaging the Battle for Keeps
I first wanted to thank you for your Every Man’s Battle series. It really has impacted my battle for purity.
I wanted to share a story with you because I feel it fits well with your book Tactics and it became my “Merle Hay Moment”. While reading Tactics late one night, I was suddenly distracted by the sound of my neighbors having sex. Since my apartment was completely quiet, I was able to hear every word and movement. I tried to ignore it, but I’m easily distracted while reading. Suddenly, a fit of rage took control of me. How dare Satan try to tempt me while reading the very book that is pointing out all of his lies? How dare Satan lie to these two young people and convince them to sleep together? That was someone’s future wife and someone’s future husband engaging each other in sexual intercourse next door!
Then my anger turned on myself. I was angry that I could find so much wrong with what these two people were doing, and yet I couldn’t make the necessary sacrifices to overcoming my own impurity with pornography and masturbation. I hope I will be the lucky husband of a beautiful woman some day, yet I’ve been spending my “lonely” time staring at pictures of OTHER naked women and masturbating. How fair is that to my future wife and our relationship together?
Since that moment, the thought of pornography and masturbation disgust me. It’s only been a week since, but I haven’t had the slightest urge or desire to engage in those acts. The next time I face temptation, my willingness to fight against Satan is about more than just me and my salvation. It’s about protecting the gift God so graciously gave to me so that one day, I can give that gift to my future spouse as my ultimate sign of love and thanksgiving for the gift from God she will be. I’ve realized that my life now is just as much her life as it will be once we’re married.
Again, thank you for your efforts in writing the Every Man’s Battle series. I’m confident that as I take the steps you suggested to fight the good fight, I can remain clean.